My ex, who I was engaged to for 4 years and dated for almost 5, left me for another girl. We had our ups and downs over the duration of our relationship but it was a big move that I think began the rather large decline for us. We decided to move to South Carolina because a friend of mine had done so about a year prior and it looked like a great place to buy a home and start a married life. Unfortunately it was not the best idea for us. I went up there first and tried to find work but couldn’t find anything that paid enough for us to be able to make ends meet. Not to mention that we didn’t know where he would work once he got there. The whole thing was just a mess and it affected my life very negatively for years after, once I was back in Florida. It happened when the job market was about to completely crumble and we just couldn’t get back on our feet. Luckily my parents helped us out as much as they possibly could and let us live with them, but it was a struggle. We had a dog that didn’t get along with theirs, my guy worked hours that had him coming home at 4 or 5 in the morning which was only an hour or so before my parents had to be up for their jobs. I couldn’t find work and spent a lot of time at home, bored and depressed. When we broke up I blamed him for a lot of what happened. I blamed him for leaving me for someone else and thought he was completely wrong for treating me so poorly after everything I had done for him over the years (things not mentioned here). The problem was though, it was wrong to blame him for everything that broke us. We broke for a reason, it wasn’t meant to be. Usually when you have struggles with someone you can tell if you are together for the long haul or not. We just didn’t work together. Our hard times didn’t bring us closer, they drove us apart and ultimately things ended. It took me a long time to forgive him and get to a healthy mindset about the entire thing. It also took a long time to realize that I don’t hate him at all. I will always love him for the person he was in my life at the time but that is where it ends. I am at peace with our break up and wish him nothing but the best in life as I would hope he could do for me now that I am engaged again.
Is there anything you had to forgive someone for that was really difficult?