Growing up, I had some issues where my extended family was concerned, mainly because there have been too many competitions between some of us, and comments given under the guise of love, to keep any of us truly close now that we’re adults. It created a shift early on in the balance of what we’re all taught families should be and it has brought me great sadness all too often. No one should ever make you feel that they love you with conditions attached. You shouldn’t have to be something else in order to have someone fully love you, we are not omnipotent and our worth is not measured by anyone but ourselves and any higher beings we believe in. Yet, even with the inappropriate comments and actions, we are still almost burdened by the family we are dealt at birth. I mean, of course I love my relatives but if you were to ask me if I truly like all of them, the answer would be a firm “no.” It isn’t that I feel any of us are bad people, because I honestly don’t, but there is a difference between being bad within and being bad for someone else and the latter is what some of my extended family are for me. They are like my kryptonite…which as we know was Superman’s weakness, it was a lethal thing to him. Some might say that this is a dramatic comparison, but I would argue that it is completely valid because how we feel emotionally, whether by our own diminishing thoughts or those put upon us by others, can be truly damaging to our overall health just like that krytopnite was for Superman.
So, where do we draw the line between our own happiness and these individuals that we love but who do not do us any good? That line gets really blurry for all of us and most choose to just grin and bear it, no matter the cost to their own personal well being, but should we? I am leaning toward no on that question because at thirty years old, I can’t fathom allowing happiness-draining people into my orbit any longer. It is just too damaging to my already self-abused psyche. I am hard enough on myself without having people who claim to love me adding any more pressure to the mix, so I have taken several steps back…hell, I have run a football fields length away from the negative energy emitted from these people and I am making strides every day toward the positive because that is where I need to be. I deserve to be surrounded by healing energies and sunshiney people…people who lift me up as I lift them, because life is not about competing for love and attention anymore, it is about competing with yourself to be the best version of you that you can be! So, with that in mind, I have already begun my emotional well being transformation and I have the support of those that I deem worthy of my affection and time. People who give me the same love, respect, and appreciation that I give to them without holding me hostage in an unending battle for perfection. I will no longer take part in an invisible competition against others when we should all be loved and treated as equals without such bullshit.
While I do not feel that life is too short for anything, because it is literally the LONGEST THING WE ALL WILL EVER DO, I feel that time does get swallowed up way too quickly because we spend so much time dwelling on nonsense that doesn’t make us happy. That kind of waste makes us feel that our lives are too short, which causes bitterness and that in turn spreads to others and makes them miserable too. There are alternatives to using our time better like traveling, reading a good book, trying out new recipes, doing the crossword in bed with your significant other, playing with your pet or your kids, having a night out with friends, spending time with your family, taking a drive on a beautiful road…the point is not to focus on what we don’t have but to instead try to shift our thoughts so that we can enjoy what is already right in front of us. Our lives fly by so quickly, whether we are having fun or being a mope, so why not choose the light over the dark? Instead of getting bogged down by comparisons and jealousy over the lives of others, go out and find something that makes you smile. It burns more calories than frowning, which rocks, and it infects others, kind of causing a whole happiness epidemic, which the world needs more of anyway, don’t you think?